I love the way you bring the jacket to life as a character. It quietly holds onto memories, transforming a simple moment into something deeply touching.
I can imagine. It's deliberately structured so that the significance of the jacket is withheld. I wrote this when I was still living in Vietnam, teaching creative writing and concealment in literary writing. It's concealed so that the jacket can acquire meaning unique to each reader, hopefully.
Something in the silence between the lines more than the lines themselves that I felt the weight of. The laundromat felt like a sort of purgatory, not just a place. The weight of what isn’t said, what’s half-remembered, what clings to clothing like stale smoke. You managed to keep it just raw enough without tipping into melodrama, which I particular appreciates. Loved that “she burned at both ends and found more ends to burn”. Quiet, unflashy pain. Good work.
I love how we're plunged into this conversation where everything is not set up, but we get the story through the dialogue. These two guys never got over this and didn't speak for fifteen years and boom. Here they are, all because of dirty laundry. Excellent tale.
This was brilliant. I feel like I’m swirling in the mens’ grief.
Thank you so much for the read and compliment genie. Hope to see you again soon :)
I love the way you bring the jacket to life as a character. It quietly holds onto memories, transforming a simple moment into something deeply touching.
Thank you, Gillian. Very grateful to have you reading!
Superb. Felt so real.
Thank you, friend. This means a lot.
This has such a cinematic quality. I can see it all happening. Would make a great short film or a play.
That's the goal. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Lyndsey. As always, thank you so much for sharing, too!
My pleasure!
I felt so many emotions reading it.
I know I will read it again. Thank you for writing it!
The goal is eventually to turn it into a one-act play! Thank you, Debra.
That would be amazing. I can see huge success in that!
I can imagine. It's deliberately structured so that the significance of the jacket is withheld. I wrote this when I was still living in Vietnam, teaching creative writing and concealment in literary writing. It's concealed so that the jacket can acquire meaning unique to each reader, hopefully.
Beautiful.
Thank you very much Debora. So glad to have you reading and so glad you caught this one!
Something in the silence between the lines more than the lines themselves that I felt the weight of. The laundromat felt like a sort of purgatory, not just a place. The weight of what isn’t said, what’s half-remembered, what clings to clothing like stale smoke. You managed to keep it just raw enough without tipping into melodrama, which I particular appreciates. Loved that “she burned at both ends and found more ends to burn”. Quiet, unflashy pain. Good work.
Welp, you made my Substack Spotlight real easy this week. Fucking great stuff.
🙏 Aw man, that's awesome. Thank you, Vinny
I love how we're plunged into this conversation where everything is not set up, but we get the story through the dialogue. These two guys never got over this and didn't speak for fifteen years and boom. Here they are, all because of dirty laundry. Excellent tale.